How We Hurt Our Kids

For one entire week I didn’t eat any food.  I only drank what I jokingly called “my sludge”.  After that full week of no crunching or chewing, I went another two weeks on one meal a day plus my sludge.

My sludge was actually something known as The Elemental Diet, a predigested drink that starves unwanted bacteria in the small intestine which is key to getting rid of Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth, which I have.  SIBO isn’t life threatening. With symptoms such as bloating, constipation and gas it can be annoying and embarrassing but it’s not going to kill me.

But in an attempt to clean up my gut, I may have messed up my kid’s heads.  My 13 year old daughter declared that she wasn’t eating breakfast anymore.  This wasn’t a big deal. She’s not much of a breakfast person and when she does eat it, it’s usually either soup or leftovers from last night’s dinner. But just to be on the safe side, and to make sure that all my intermittent fasting and sludge drinking wasn’t negatively impacting her, I made her read The Paleo Mom’s blog post “Is Breakfast The Most Important Meal Of The Day”. (spoiler alert...it’s debatable, but more evidence points to yes than to no).

Then my 10 year old started teasing me with the chant, “skinny mom, skinny mom”.  One could argue that there are far worse chants a child could throw at their mom, but it made me sad that weight was even on my son’s radar.  

Raising healthy kids isn’t easy though there is plenty of advice that makes it seem like it is:

“Buy what you want them to eat.  They’ll eat it or they’ll starve.”

“Let them have sweets - but only homemade sweets made from less processed forms of sugar like honey or molasses.”

And my all-time favorite advice for teenagers is from author, Marc David…

“...find out what they want to eat and tell them to eat it. The teenager’s diet is simply a reflection of their state of consciousness - they do not want rules, they just want options.”

But the more you know, the easier it becomes to overcomplicate things. After I listened to Ben Greenfield’s Podcast “Can Kids Eat More Sugar Than Adults”, I tried to explain to my daughter that the best time to eat sugar was before, during or after exercise when the body is pretty insulin-sensitive.  Instead, what came out sounded more like one of the great myths of my generation, “If you’re going to eat, you have to work out.” Ugh.  Not.what.I.Meant.

So, how do you navigate the murky waters of healthy eating, sugar, weight, exercise and body image with kids? Phew, that’s a tall order. But focusing on THEM is the key.  Focus on their interests, their skills, What they look like does not define them. This is a tough one in today’s society where skinny people are treated like royalty especially on social media and in Hollywood. What makes them special?  I bet no parent ever answered “they’re thin” in response to this question. And if they did, I don’t really want to aspire to them.

Sometimes I’m terrible at communicating, but I believe in it.  I love nutrition and I can’t imagine not sharing all the cool things I learn with my kids (whether they want me to or not!). So, I’ll tell them about how when they eat red meat, the iron-containing compound heme that gives the meat its red color becomes carcinogenic UNLESS chlorophyl is present.  And where do you find chlorophyl? Green veggies! So eat your steak WITH some peas. I’ll bombard them with tools to help them digest their food better, like taking 5 deep, slow breaths before a meal and not multi-tasking (like watching tv or reading a book) while eating.  What I won’t do is link any of my knowledge bombs to weight. My job is to arm them with as much information as possible so they can make decisions for themselves. Some will be bad decisions.  We all make them, especially when we go to college. But hopefully they’ll make some pretty good choices too. And in the end, I’ll love them to the moon and back no matter what shape and size they are.